The First Recordings (2010 Versions, First Takes) CD2

by Sorrow Stories

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about

From 2010 Versions, First Takes CD2

Note from Tina Forlorn:

These songs are very raw and were recorded when I didn't have good quality/or the right equipment nor any experience or knowledge of recording/production. Many of the tracks were recorded at the time of creation, often having only just decided how the music or singing was going to go, sometimes upon hitting the record button. Therefore, these are first takes, there are mistakes but there is a natural experience that can only be captured from the first time which for those of you who can look past these things, can hopefully appreciate. Somewhere in the future, you may hear these songs from me again in better quality and/or as different versions.

credits

released September 27, 2015

All lyrics/music/production/rights: Sorrow Stories

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Sorrow Stories London, UK

Sorrow Stories is an One-Female Band created by Tina Forlorn.

On database with 'The Main Idea', a US company who are known for TV Ads.

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Track Name: Ode To My Guitar
There's not a language I can translate
Where they wouldn't silence all of my words
I've been kept inside for such a long time
but it feels like that's what they prefer

I listened to all of their many stories
When every one of them held lies
All they have done is watch me put
So much meaning into things knowing...
it was going to die

My guitar allows me to hurt
My guitar speaks all my words
My guitar isn't human
My guitar's only made of wood
but it has more compassion than you ever could

I see exactly who you are
and I know there's place for me there
I need to believe that anything ever spoken
meant that there ever had been...somewhere

I see all good and all bad
I know truth holds all possibility
How can I say that anything is fine
When no matter how I try, it all...
gets revealed to be so ugly?
Track Name: Old Decorations
OLD DECORATIONS

I can't feel myself any more through the fractures
I just know that is exactly where I am
and that is all there is

I don't expect some repairing
Let alone some understanding
I know that is too much to ask for
It never mattered how I feel

I've been sent an impossible a road
and nobody cares where I'm going
They'll push me until everything's gone
and then still ask me for something

I am done trying
So now I'll just be what will be
I haven't got the patience or the ability
to pretend to myself
So I will just give back what I've never had
but I am not sure how to do that
When I don't know what it looks like

I am so selfish, how could I dare to say I'm hurt?
I am so greedy, how dare I ask for what I want?
I am so mean, how could I express my opinion
Knowing you didn't feel the same way?

I feel repression growing
Secrets are in the making
I am meant to have super powers
but I'm not even good at being a villian

I feel the end
I feel the end is here (repeat)
Track Name: Reminded
REMINDED

Not a day passes that I don't think about it
and yesterday goes by so easily
While I'm left stuck in the remains
Of what you've done to me
Now I know I'll only ever be
Whoever's fate sees through my eyes
The clouds look thicker tonight
Surrounded by the gloomy trees
Reaching out with their broken arms
With nowhere for me to rest upon
and all I see left of my heart is two halfs that
keep a huge distance from one another

The circumstance I always have to face
Never knowing how I got there in the first place
I don't believe I put myself here
So why can't I get out of it?

Something has reminded me of a place I knew so long ago
and have failed to ever leave behind
and the truth is I don't want to go
because this is killing me and that's all I ever wanted
So maybe dreams can come true after all
In their own kind of way
Because I've fallen too far backwards
The moods I feel are all contacted
With every tear that's glued to my skin
I have been forgotten for so long
I don't know how to remember her or even if I'd want to

The decision I must make,
never knowing which one is right
I don't believe I really have a choice
and if so, why can't I decide?

I feel as dirty as the secrets you keep inside
Tormenting me, forever wandering, always left out in the cold
Track Name: Shields
SHIELDS

Memories fade but the thoughts get more extreme
I don't remember any other feelings than these
It's been so long since I've been outside of them
I never expressed a smile I really meant

The walls in my mind are closing around me
I can't push them back anymore
So I'll just let you have what you need
Because mine do not matter anymore

I used to have so many shields
They were the only ones to protect me
but they all split apart by such cruelty
All I am is a wound that will never heal

All I'm doing is counting the numbers down to my last day
It may be the only time I'll get my own way
Being fair caused me so much damage
They took it all and then threw me away
The lies that were said left me dead
and has taken all that was true to me away...
Track Name: Slideshow
SLIDESHOW

The world absorbs itself in ugliness
I'm transparent to their spells
Situated in a mindless path
The warmth of the unobtainable

Try with me and we may get far
The jar of the easily convinced
Close my eyes but I'm still in hell
Sleep won't disintegrate the time it took from me

My pain of mind is a discoloured picture
closed inside my frame
I still see all of the other colours on the wall
but they really all look the same

Press my buttons and resuscitate me
Why do I enjoy being this knocked out?
Losing grip and I'm vandalising
All the things that kept me almost sane

Come near me and I'll ruin you
The luck of my infinity
Open my eyes further than they can see
All the ways they should but didn't know

My turn got lost along the way
Somewhere between spinning around
I can see all the other roads
but have nowhere to put my feet
Track Name: Thankyou for the Eye Opener
THANKYOU FOR THE EYE-OPENER

Numbness comes so quickly
It's the only thing that's easy
Although it's never enough
I haven't been sleeping
Because I cannot stop thinking
I just don't need to breathe at all

So, why don't you tell me how I'm wrong?
I already know I don't belong anywhere here
Anywhere here
Or anywhere near you

Everybody's crying crocodile tears (repeat)

In the end, everybody does exactly what they want

The lies were fun and really worked
Can't you see how much I'm laughing?
It's okay, be who you are
Just don't ask me to love him
Because I did
and I always have to pay for it
Track Name: The Story Goes On...
THE STORY GOES ON...

Lend me your hand as I stumble
and never make it off the ground again
and there lies the doormat
Through which my heart's forever broken
I keep on feeling more pain
Especially when I believe I cannot feel anymore

All the pills falling down my throat
Are the only ones keeping the score
Time never passes although it's always
lost from my grasp
Never gained anything although I always asked
and if you could feel the way that I do
I wouldn't have to explain
Alone I fall, just like how I was raised

Lend me your eyes as my vision starts to blur
and take a sight beyond my control
and there lies the blindness which I can never
blindfold
Keep on feeling more complacent
Especially when I feel settled
All the powders up my nose are always
Looking for the other nostril
Time never lasts although some moments
feel like forever
I never knew anybody,
even when the pieces fit more together
and if I could feel the way that you do
I wouldn't feel such confusion
Alone, I fall, cut and bruising and...

The signals that trigger like a nerve
Being hit every day
Hammering at my head but only disturbing the pain
Memories rushing like a hit of cocaine
That never settles my brain
and I feel less and less sane today

Lend me your heart as I no longer have one to use
and there lies the leftovers which I can only abuse
Keep on feeling more distant, most of all from myself
All the marks on my veins draw a smiley face in my hell
Time has stopped but it feels like I never had a chance
I kept it all in to one day let it all out at once
If I only could only not feel anymore
I wouldn't have to be at all
Alone, I fall. I fall alone or so the story goes...
Track Name: The Widening Gap
THE WIDENING GAP

The things you show the least
Are what hurts the most
The faces you won't recognise
Will look the ones you love

If I could close my eyes
I'd never wake back up
I'm paralysed
In the excuses of their lust

We all play the part of this movie
We don't want to watch
Except in the directors chair

Too exhausted to keep on trying
It never ends up worth it
Can't even feel satisfied
I need something perfect

The rules are all made up
and can be changed at any time
I believe the universe switches
Around our minds

We all have a heart but we don't know how to use them
by the time we do, it's broken
Track Name: Time Frames
TIME FRAMES

I feel smashed to pieces like a fallen lightbulb
I'll never be switched back on
Paths have taken me down roads I don't remember choosing
Or at least not these directions
Back to my inner world where the ugliest views are seen
You wouldn't believe me if I told you

Struggling to untangle myself
When I didn't tie up the knots
I must pull them apart
Didn't find myself all this time
In this slow suicide
As I had died already before
I was looking at my life in rewind
Hallucinations were just flashbacks
I realise that I'm just a memory now
It's too late to change them

I can't add up the seconds in the minutes that I've lost
The hours felt so slow but the days went so fast
I took pictures of each thing I took notice of
Some I just threw away and some just took themselves off
Of my mind
but I'll always find my way back
Because there's no way forward

I was just observing timeframes
Didn't like anything I saw
All I could do was carry on (and on and on and on)
and hope some day I might find
Something or someone
Who could ever mean a damn thing that they stood for
Somewhere alone is the only place I feel comfortable
It's all I'll ever know
Track Name: Track Marks
TRACK MARKS

I can't make sense out of the future
Trapped in the eyes of these shadows
They're always creeping up beside me
My eyes are blind without colour
All these dreams that won't fulfil
The yesterdays that have gone
For every loss, there is an extra pain that will arrive

My arms cannot carry the weight of my heart
There's too many feelings
I've struggled and died in all situations
Always left with the baggage under my eyes

You are the scars that have broken my skin
I am bleeding from the centre of my veins
I'm giving you my life that you take so willingly
I'm your emergency but no ambulance is on its way
(Just sirens)

I can't make sense of the past
Trapped in all these new intentions
They're always reminding me of
What I was meant to be doing
All the nightmares keep their return
and got no place to take them away
For every gain, there is an extra pain
That will arrive

I can't be in an accurate state of time
My brain switches around to whatever place it finds
Each grab from within, I lose when I take it outside
but I don't want it inside
Track Name: Walking Backwards
WALKING BACKWARDS

I've seen this road before, it feels so familiar
The back alleys of a past left for dead
I've been somewhere else
There was no choice I felt
but to follow all the thoughts in my head

I've feel this pain alone
and I'm not heading home
Back to a place where noone will miss me
I wish to be untrue
So I could relate to yourself
but as of now, it's all just a mystery

Walking backwards
I in a hurry
but they still rush right passed me
Walking backwards
I feel so unlucky
I try to go onwards
but there is nothing

I seem to find all changes in many different cages
but as of yet, I'm still picking at the locks
I believe that my situations
Has only my concentration
but am so hopeless, sitting a shadow behind a rock
I have all of my wounds and there is no room
For anymore to fit, but in they still come...
I forgive all of the things that have been destroying me
but never will I forget or get over them over yet
Walking backwards
I'm in a hurry
but they will pass
Please don't rush me
Walking backwards
I feel noone looking
I try to go onwards
but there is nothing
Track Name: When The Mind Collapses
When The Mind Collapses

Swallowed by the eclipses of darkness
I taste the sewers of pain
No matter how many fingers I cross
The battlefield still takes place

Exhausted, my broken hands pull myself to shore
Cannot make it over the clifftops
Into the sand my head falls, if not pulled

I can't take anymore
Anymore...
I can't take anymore
Anymore...
Just let me end it all
and all of before

My former selves collide
With the twisted view
Of who I am seen to be
By very few
and I want to correct them
Make them seen what I mean
but then I dissect their right
To see me how they please
Track Name: Somewhere Else To Die In
SOMEWHERE ELSE TO DIE IN

Cannot find a description for the state my mind is in
Never could forget the images of the things I've seen
If I could only fill my memory with blank pages
I would only be grateful for the loss it would bring

When you feel too much in a world that's only numb
How can you speak? How can you think? Or be clearly?
Trying to numb myself, enough to cope with them
Those who said they could relate
but it wasn't really, even nearly

When will I get out of here if the only way to go is to the place stored
in my mind?
What have I got to do to deserve some peace of thought?
Have someone be kind and really mean it?
Rather than just make me believe in it
Before they turn into their other side?

When the sun drops, I fall
There is no end to where I'm going to
I know of nowhere that feels like my home
Just somewhere else to die in

There's nowhere that's home
Just somewhere else to die in