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The First Recordings (2010 Versions, First Takes) CD2 (ACOUSTIC)

by Sorrow Stories

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1.
Ode To My Guitar 07:50
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There's not a language I can translate Where they wouldn't silence all of my words I've been kept inside for such a long time but it feels like that's what they prefer I listened to all of their many stories When every one of them held lies All they have done is watch me put So much meaning into things knowing... it was going to die My guitar allows me to hurt My guitar speaks all my words My guitar isn't human My guitar's only made of wood but it has more compassion than you ever could I see exactly who you are and I know there's place for me there I need to believe that anything ever spoken meant that there ever had been...somewhere I see all good and all bad I know truth holds all possibility How can I say that anything is fine When no matter how I try, it all... gets revealed to be so ugly?
2.
Old Decorations 06:07
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OLD DECORATIONS I can't feel myself any more through the fractures I just know that is exactly where I am and that is all there is I don't expect some repairing Let alone some understanding I know that is too much to ask for It never mattered how I feel I've been sent an impossible a road and nobody cares where I'm going They'll push me until everything's gone and then still ask me for something I am done trying So now I'll just be what will be I haven't got the patience or the ability to pretend to myself So I will just give back what I've never had but I am not sure how to do that When I don't know what it looks like I am so selfish, how could I dare to say I'm hurt? I am so greedy, how dare I ask for what I want? I am so mean, how could I express my opinion Knowing you didn't feel the same way? I feel repression growing Secrets are in the making I am meant to have super powers but I'm not even good at being a villian I feel the end I feel the end is here (repeat)
3.
Reminded 05:03
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REMINDED Not a day passes that I don't think about it and yesterday goes by so easily While I'm left stuck in the remains Of what you've done to me Now I know I'll only ever be Whoever's fate sees through my eyes The clouds look thicker tonight Surrounded by the gloomy trees Reaching out with their broken arms With nowhere for me to rest upon and all I see left of my heart is two halfs that keep a huge distance from one another The circumstance I always have to face Never knowing how I got there in the first place I don't believe I put myself here So why can't I get out of it? Something has reminded me of a place I knew so long ago and have failed to ever leave behind and the truth is I don't want to go because this is killing me and that's all I ever wanted So maybe dreams can come true after all In their own kind of way Because I've fallen too far backwards The moods I feel are all contacted With every tear that's glued to my skin I have been forgotten for so long I don't know how to remember her or even if I'd want to The decision I must make, never knowing which one is right I don't believe I really have a choice and if so, why can't I decide? I feel as dirty as the secrets you keep inside Tormenting me, forever wandering, always left out in the cold
4.
Shields 05:19
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SHIELDS Memories fade but the thoughts get more extreme I don't remember any other feelings than these It's been so long since I've been outside of them I never expressed a smile I really meant The walls in my mind are closing around me I can't push them back anymore So I'll just let you have what you need Because mine do not matter anymore I used to have so many shields They were the only ones to protect me but they all split apart by such cruelty All I am is a wound that will never heal All I'm doing is counting the numbers down to my last day It may be the only time I'll get my own way Being fair caused me so much damage They took it all and then threw me away The lies that were said left me dead and has taken all that was true to me away...
5.
Slideshow 04:06
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SLIDESHOW The world absorbs itself in ugliness I'm transparent to their spells Situated in a mindless path The warmth of the unobtainable Try with me and we may get far The jar of the easily convinced Close my eyes but I'm still in hell Sleep won't disintegrate the time it took from me My pain of mind is a discoloured picture closed inside my frame I still see all of the other colours on the wall but they really all look the same Press my buttons and resuscitate me Why do I enjoy being this knocked out? Losing grip and I'm vandalising All the things that kept me almost sane Come near me and I'll ruin you The luck of my infinity Open my eyes further than they can see All the ways they should but didn't know My turn got lost along the way Somewhere between spinning around I can see all the other roads but have nowhere to put my feet
6.
Thankyou for the Eye Opener 05:08
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THANKYOU FOR THE EYE-OPENER Numbness comes so quickly It's the only thing that's easy Although it's never enough I haven't been sleeping Because I cannot stop thinking I just don't need to breathe at all So, why don't you tell me how I'm wrong? I already know I don't belong anywhere here Anywhere here Or anywhere near you Everybody's crying crocodile tears (repeat) In the end, everybody does exactly what they want The lies were fun and really worked Can't you see how much I'm laughing? It's okay, be who you are Just don't ask me to love him Because I did and I always have to pay for it
7.
The Story Goes On... 07:02
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THE STORY GOES ON... Lend me your hand as I stumble and never make it off the ground again and there lies the doormat Through which my heart's forever broken I keep on feeling more pain Especially when I believe I cannot feel anymore All the pills falling down my throat Are the only ones keeping the score Time never passes although it's always lost from my grasp Never gained anything although I always asked and if you could feel the way that I do I wouldn't have to explain Alone I fall, just like how I was raised Lend me your eyes as my vision starts to blur and take a sight beyond my control and there lies the blindness which I can never blindfold Keep on feeling more complacent Especially when I feel settled All the powders up my nose are always Looking for the other nostril Time never lasts although some moments feel like forever I never knew anybody, even when the pieces fit more together and if I could feel the way that you do I wouldn't feel such confusion Alone, I fall, cut and bruising and... The signals that trigger like a nerve Being hit every day Hammering at my head but only disturbing the pain Memories rushing like a hit of cocaine That never settles my brain and I feel less and less sane today Lend me your heart as I no longer have one to use and there lies the leftovers which I can only abuse Keep on feeling more distant, most of all from myself All the marks on my veins draw a smiley face in my hell Time has stopped but it feels like I never had a chance I kept it all in to one day let it all out at once If I only could only not feel anymore I wouldn't have to be at all Alone, I fall. I fall alone or so the story goes...
8.
The Widening Gap 03:30
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THE WIDENING GAP The things you show the least Are what hurts the most The faces you won't recognise Will look the ones you love If I could close my eyes I'd never wake back up I'm paralysed In the excuses of their lust We all play the part of this movie We don't want to watch Except in the directors chair Too exhausted to keep on trying It never ends up worth it Can't even feel satisfied I need something perfect The rules are all made up and can be changed at any time I believe the universe switches Around our minds We all have a heart but we don't know how to use them by the time we do, it's broken
9.
Time Frames 06:18
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TIME FRAMES I feel smashed to pieces like a fallen lightbulb I'll never be switched back on Paths have taken me down roads I don't remember choosing Or at least not these directions Back to my inner world where the ugliest views are seen You wouldn't believe me if I told you Struggling to untangle myself When I didn't tie up the knots I must pull them apart Didn't find myself all this time In this slow suicide As I had died already before I was looking at my life in rewind Hallucinations were just flashbacks I realise that I'm just a memory now It's too late to change them I can't add up the seconds in the minutes that I've lost The hours felt so slow but the days went so fast I took pictures of each thing I took notice of Some I just threw away and some just took themselves off Of my mind but I'll always find my way back Because there's no way forward I was just observing timeframes Didn't like anything I saw All I could do was carry on (and on and on and on) and hope some day I might find Something or someone Who could ever mean a damn thing that they stood for Somewhere alone is the only place I feel comfortable It's all I'll ever know
10.
Track Marks 05:26
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TRACK MARKS I can't make sense out of the future Trapped in the eyes of these shadows They're always creeping up beside me My eyes are blind without colour All these dreams that won't fulfil The yesterdays that have gone For every loss, there is an extra pain that will arrive My arms cannot carry the weight of my heart There's too many feelings I've struggled and died in all situations Always left with the baggage under my eyes You are the scars that have broken my skin I am bleeding from the centre of my veins I'm giving you my life that you take so willingly I'm your emergency but no ambulance is on its way (Just sirens) I can't make sense of the past Trapped in all these new intentions They're always reminding me of What I was meant to be doing All the nightmares keep their return and got no place to take them away For every gain, there is an extra pain That will arrive I can't be in an accurate state of time My brain switches around to whatever place it finds Each grab from within, I lose when I take it outside but I don't want it inside
11.
Walking Backwards 06:02
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WALKING BACKWARDS I've seen this road before, it feels so familiar The back alleys of a past left for dead I've been somewhere else There was no choice I felt but to follow all the thoughts in my head I've feel this pain alone and I'm not heading home Back to a place where noone will miss me I wish to be untrue So I could relate to yourself but as of now, it's all just a mystery Walking backwards I in a hurry but they still rush right passed me Walking backwards I feel so unlucky I try to go onwards but there is nothing I seem to find all changes in many different cages but as of yet, I'm still picking at the locks I believe that my situations Has only my concentration but am so hopeless, sitting a shadow behind a rock I have all of my wounds and there is no room For anymore to fit, but in they still come... I forgive all of the things that have been destroying me but never will I forget or get over them over yet Walking backwards I'm in a hurry but they will pass Please don't rush me Walking backwards I feel noone looking I try to go onwards but there is nothing
12.
When The Mind Collapses 04:29
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When The Mind Collapses Swallowed by the eclipses of darkness I taste the sewers of pain No matter how many fingers I cross The battlefield still takes place Exhausted, my broken hands pull myself to shore Cannot make it over the clifftops Into the sand my head falls, if not pulled I can't take anymore Anymore... I can't take anymore Anymore... Just let me end it all and all of before My former selves collide With the twisted view Of who I am seen to be By very few and I want to correct them Make them seen what I mean but then I dissect their right To see me how they please
13.
Somewhere Else To Die In 03:37
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SOMEWHERE ELSE TO DIE IN Cannot find a description for the state my mind is in Never could forget the images of the things I've seen If I could only fill my memory with blank pages I would only be grateful for the loss it would bring When you feel too much in a world that's only numb How can you speak? How can you think? Or be clearly? Trying to numb myself, enough to cope with them Those who said they could relate but it wasn't really, even nearly When will I get out of here if the only way to go is to the place stored in my mind? What have I got to do to deserve some peace of thought? Have someone be kind and really mean it? Rather than just make me believe in it Before they turn into their other side? When the sun drops, I fall There is no end to where I'm going to I know of nowhere that feels like my home Just somewhere else to die in There's nowhere that's home Just somewhere else to die in

about

From 2010 Versions, First Takes CD2

Note from Tina Forlorn:

These songs are very raw and were recorded when I didn't have good quality/or the right equipment nor any experience or knowledge of recording/production. Many of the tracks were recorded at the time of creation, often having only just decided how the music or singing was going to go, sometimes upon hitting the record button. Therefore, these are first takes, there are mistakes but there is a natural experience that can only be captured from the first time which for those of you who can look past these things, can hopefully appreciate. Somewhere in the future, you may hear these songs from me again in better quality and/or as different versions.

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released September 27, 2015

All lyrics/music/production/rights: Sorrow Stories

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Sorrow Stories London, UK

Sorrow Stories is Tina Forlorn. All music, lyrics, vocals, production & rights.

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sorrowstories.com

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