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The First Recordings (2010 Versions, First Takes) CD1 (ACOUSTIC)

by Sorrow Stories

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1.
A Dreamscape For My Misery 03:10
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A DREAMSCAPE FOR MY MISERY The itchiness is crawling over me A dreamscape for my misery Is collected in a large medicine bottle As a fragment of sweat drops down I know I'll never be found Where I've escaped to has no exits Is it me that's disppearing or has the world grown smaller? I used to see a tiny hope of the dreams I was after Have all the harsh realities corroded my broken mind? Will I arrive at the place that will settle my thoughts before I die? The cravings are all that's controlling There's never enough to stop this bleeding and poison numbing away this pain The drowsiness is disconnecting me but here I am closer then I've ever been To understanding what I may, otherwise, never know
2.
Broken 07:29
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BROKEN I find myself trembling in these fits of madness once more Wishing I could find a reason I'm still carrying on For I have run out of all excuses to still be here I have lost myself in a million places unknown To everybody else, they just feel like home but I am kneeling down before my tears I have pretended to be all the ways they wanted to see I kept aside all my pain, until it burst it every vein As I wrap around the tourniquet before it's released Where I can see myself again All that ever meant anything is losing itself to my memory I'm tattooed with pain and the ink won't run out on me How can I exist when I'm dying like this and sadness is all that is there to greet me daily How can I exist when I'm dying like this and killing myself is all I think about lately I have all these intentions and no way to carry them through Pain holds my deepest affections and is all that stays true Through the passage blocked ahead I have no concept that isn't real and isn't an illusion In my cage where there's only corners I cannot turn and I'm stuck, I'm helpless, I'm dead
3.
Death Signs 05:12
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DEATH SIGNS My words are kept, always limited Until the meaning of them have diminished and all I'm left with is another hole I feel so estranged from those I thought were close Where once I was a convience Now I'm just too much bother I felt like I'd never slept in years I was watching them pass through dreams Where no good ever came true I don't remember falling for the cliches When I always knew that love isn't real but I never forget how it feels to lose what I've never had Death used to look so appealing but now I need so much more I know that all the ugly places Start at each road I've seen before and they just repeat again... I'm searching for something that will never be in my reach and I cannot lay it to rest No matter how many thoughts I change There is no need to pretend that you care I know that you're not really there I'm just hallucinating The days just get darker... Until the nightmare's complete...yes, they're complete, at last
4.
Delivery Times 04:56
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DELIVERY TIMES I feel the loss of infancy They're shadows always on my back I nod into the silence of a perfect dream that hurts so much to awaken from The passing of time is just a reoccurring moment of countdowns A memory so bleak is never Truer then right now My heart is beating slower every day Soon, I don't think I'll feel at all but you won't see me complain when it comes What's one more breath when you've already gone Strangling thoughts wrap themselves around me Pulling tighter...pulling tighter...pulling tigher I'm losing every ability to satisfy anything that's always kept me wanting I think I finally found the way is just another trapdoor The isolation that I'm left with squashes me into corners I've never known Each tear that trickles down my face is falling into nowhere The bloodstains on my sleeve never dry out If your wishes really were held at your fingertips Why can they always let go?
5.
Fate Or Curse? 05:39
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FATE OR CURSE? Slow down because I can't take it My head just spins like a coin Heads or tails, it will always be The opposite to what I guess It's so easy for them to tell me to just to forget about All the things that they have that I have lost All the things that they never had to lose but nobody tells you how to deal with the pain but they'll always tell you to make it go away but it never fucking goes away, does it? Hurry up, I can't wait any longer To start to feel any better Start or stop, I always end up Paused in between somewhere It's so difficult for them to understand the way I am All the things that I have ever felt All the things that I ever think There really is no way out for me but you could never really see Even if you wanted to There is nothing more that I can do That I haven't already You can't say I never tried That's all I ever did I fight just to wake up, at the end of each day I don't know why I strangle my own words so you could never feel the hurt I have inside When does it get any better? How can I always feel worst than this?
6.
Here, Again 04:12
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HERE,AGAIN Your lips cannot kiss away The bruises on my heart That you never fail to leave behind The images you say you need but call meaningless Can't you see? How they're the end to my mind? I always kept it open for you and only you could put this poison inside You cannot help how you feel so why would you? I can't ever come back here again (repeat) I can't ever escape This was no way to bring me back I told you I'd be dead I still do not know where parts of me have gone Whereever you are, I'm just a missing corpse I've seen death with my own eyes before Now I feel that's all we are Can't you see what you're doing? Takes away all of my last hope? Can't you see what you've done leaves me so alone?
7.
Horror Stories 03:47
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HORROR STORIES I'm trying not to throw up All these things that make me sick The horror stories you keep on leaving around for me to read I've tried to ignore them I've tried to smash them to pieces But the character I always end up losing is me I'm trying to let go Of all those things I once valued Now I know they only meant something to me I've tried to delete them I'm trying to change them Without them, the good parts are all missing I'm trying to pretend This is not where everything ends But all I have is words that leave a trail of lies I've tried to not care I've tried to find my own secrets But I've already shared all of mine
8.
Irreversible 05:49
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IRREVERSIBLE Once the damage is there, it's irreversible and you really can start to feel it all as your life flashes before your eyes All the tablets make your pain mellow As your skin starts to turn yellow As they rot away all of you inside but there you had died anyway All that matters is yesterday Which you can never go back to Take a back seat to the life that played Nothing but a mind game That no one would ever want to go through Visions fasten up like pressing forward and never being able to let it go As your brain or what's left of it disappear This is what you want, you convince yourself No more thoughts means no more hell but somehow you're still here but you couldn't live when you felt more alive Always trying to escape some ones beehive As they stung right behind yourself Just because you're here, it doesn't mean you survived I was just looking up at the sky, while falling like a kite How can you turn around something so locked down? Or even begin to lift it off the ground You're captured inside a prison Left to decompose and never be found It's all irreversible and the memories weigh me down How can you put all those pills down? When they're the only ones that found Somewhere else away from all the sounds Of your heart breaking It's all irreversible and there's no way out of here now You're someone you don't know and who you were is forever bound It's all irreversible and the memories weigh me down
9.
It's All Over 04:33
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IT'S ALL OVER Sinking in my tears, it's been this way for years I never reached the lifefloat that never sailed to me Opening my cage, all there is is rage To come outside and ruin me I'll never beg again, I'll never say I'm hurt Just so they can take advantage I'll never dream again, I know it's all nightmares Waiting for their turn to come true Blinking back the thoughts, I've become a robot All I need is the switch to turn myself off Open all the doors, the hinges are already pulled There's no such thing as a safety lock I'll never live again, I'll never be the same It's too late now to change anything I'll never scream again, I'll never find a friend In the past that gave me only bad endings Falling into sleep, I will learn to peep Into every hole that's always opening Down into the dark, it's only laughter That echoes back at me I'll never look again, I'll never believe again When all that's real is really lying I'll never love again, I'll never hate like this Because I cannot feel anything
10.
Keeping Myself Silent 03:39
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KEEPING MYSELF SILENT If sleep will not come, I'll just stay right here There's no one to wake me from my nightmares I will close my eyes, try to forget the faces that betrayed me but then I would remember nobody I'm so tired with this misery always getting between us I have nothing left to do but frown I only want to tell you the truth and be good to you but it's a hard lesson I still haven't found If dreams will not go, but can never come true I don't need to be here next to you Playing out thoughts, or looking forward I can do it all in my own head and keep myself silent I keep myself silent
11.
Killing Images 04:49
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KILLING IMAGES Words hanging empty I finally see clearly Disconnected from everywhere Believing in something gets you nowhere Days of happy smiles can no longer be pretended I must give as little as I've been treated Pull the trigger at the superficial Say goodbye to entire world When you judge me by your standards It makes it clear how little you have Point the finger at yourself and then we'll see how much you have to say This is the truth, apparently It's like saying I saved them...well nearly Days of happiness never existed So how will I ever remember them Mornings of better times Were just waiting to reach the other end
12.
Knees Weaken First 05:30
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KNEES WEAKEN FIRST The wrong choice of words can ruin my day I cannot exit the place I turned to escape There are no sympathy votes anywhere here You clear up their mess and have to wipe your own tears I grow invisible as I empty each ashtray Unable to distinguish between choice and fate All of those delivery lines come with forged signatures Nothing ever gets any better I wound the blinds up every time I couldn't see any more Reality is all lies, you never get what you ask for (Work for) Maybe you can learn the lesson if you've the energy to play the game but I'm done and I'm gone and there's no button to press erase The feet you once stood on have split apart at the heels All the times you should have run, you could only remain still I burn out before I can carry myself through The doors are too heavy to lift in my shoes Swallowing death while fighting for a life I never wanted to live Because everybody wants more than they're willing to give and I can't take it Nothing ever gets any better
13.
Mind Flickers 03:45
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Mind Flickers The images of mind are flickering There is no time, only spaces inbetween When every fulfilled dream makes it's vacancy Does this mean we prefer our lifes empty? and that is the joy? The pages are always turning Away from the story you're meant to be learning Just to find in the end, they're all made up What is there to keep putting faith in? All of my mistakes were while I was believing That anything actually meant more then it really did My thoughts stay broken, they're my paralysis Healing is only another scar, hiding the wounds from opening I fell asleep before finishing All of the reasons that I was living I couldn't keep on listening with the mind I had before
14.
My Creation 07:36
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MY CREATION You keep the demons running through my mind With a smile on your face Is it because you recognise that they look so much like you? I know you do not see the pain I'm going through but I think even if you did You could never help me I thought that love was giving up the parts that hurt but all you give me is another broken heart I feel so shut away from everything I thought we were Now I know it was all (Just) my creation It was just an illusion A lot like life itself All I can say is now I've reached the end I know that all life is is hell How can so many be so blind To the depravity of the mind I witnessed all of mine until it killed me but that still wasn't good enough for yourself Now I have to take on yours too but it's too late because I'm already gone from... There's nobody that can help me now Not that they'd ever want to So now I'm lost in places I've never visited before All those times I tried but what for? I should have known this was the only way for me Whether or not I chose All my memories, I cannot escape Though if I could, I'd turn them off all one by one Until I could not see any trace of myself As I feel that's all that's left of me in...
15.
My Turn 04:25
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MY TURN It takes a while to catch up To all those things that never quite pass Now I can see all of the words you mispelt When pronounced to me I watch the fans, calmly Blowing away anything that ever meant something Don't ask me, I am not your saviour I've just been a good samaritan but when I need something,you always give me nothing in return Now it's my time to play the villian In all the times I looked up All I ever saw was myself falling down Then, I couldn't see as clearly The confusion I'm buried in now I see the emergency cords staring at me but I know there's no use in pulling them
16.
Horror Stories 2 (Vocals) 02:06
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HORROR STORIES 2 (Vocals) I'm trying to just stop Accept how hopeless it all is How all my hard work only kept me penniless I've tried to just sit back and I've tried to find contact but all I have is rope around my neck I'm trying to forget where the horror stories started but if I could, I would have already I've tried to disconnect and I've tried to avenge but how can I get past what never leaves? I'm trying to dismiss everything we ever said but I'm left wondering what memories to keep I've tried every drug, I've given everything up Now all I want is permanent sleep

about

First takes 2010

Note from Tina Forlorn:

These songs are very raw and were recorded when I didn't have good quality/or the right equipment nor any experience or knowledge of recording/production. Many of the tracks were recorded at the time of creation, often having only just decided how the music or singing was going to go, sometimes upon hitting the record button. Therefore, these are first takes, there are mistakes but there is a natural experience that can only be captured from the first time which for those of you who can look past these things, can hopefully appreciate. Somewhere in the future, you may hear these songs from me again in better quality and/or as different versions.

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released August 27, 2015

All music,lyrics, production & rights by Sorrow Stories.

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Sorrow Stories London, UK

Sorrow Stories is Tina Forlorn. All music, lyrics, vocals, production & rights.

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