Demos 2012 (First Takes) CD1

by Sorrow Stories

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2012 Demos (First Take) CD1

These songs are raw and were recorded when I didn't have good quality/or the right equipment nor any experience or knowledge of recording/production. Many of the tracks were recorded at the time of creation, often having only just decided how the music or singing was going to go, sometimes upon hitting the record button. Therefore, these are first takes, there are mistakes but there is a natural experience that can only be captured from the first time which for those of you who can look past these things, can hopefully appreciate. Somewhere in the future, you may hear these songs from me again in better quality and/or as different versions.


released December 14, 2015

All music, production & rights: Sorrow Stories



all rights reserved


Sorrow Stories London, UK

Sorrow Stories is an One-Female Band created by Tina Forlorn.

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Track Name: Back To The Surface

Thoughts cannot be silenced, though my lips are sowed shut
Our shadow on the sidewalk is always dark
These handcuffs are so tight, they make my wrists bleed
The more open the wound, the more they're hungry

Sense every move I make will go wrong
Where are you living in the present when history just repeats itself?
I want to add another point of view to help you turn the stones that are set
Nobody ever seems to remember what I can never forget

I am back to the surface, gasping for breath
Before my lungs run out of air
I am back to the surface, holding my breath
Before my head's pulled under again

So much violence wrapping around your words
Reaching out to cord cutting through my fingers
Everything is vanishing or maybe I'm the only one
I wish I could blink and miss it all

Don't want to repeat myself, I need to be somewhere else
Where I can't recognise anything bad I have ever seen
Don't want to repeat mistakes I've seen so many others make
Without being shown the way, can anyone make a change?

They only want your heart so they can break it
They only want your mind so they can take it
They only want your body so they can use it
They only want your soul when they want to destroy it
They only want to demean all that is genuine
All of our fabrications have no ending
I clench my fists, so annoyed, while you're pretending
Where is this happiness they're always recommending?
Track Name: Dark Room

Anyone can see...just out of focus
Sometimes you cannot step outside the dark room

Everyone will bleed, then believe we're immune
You can get used to anything when it's growing from inside

The past, I'll keep pushing behind
If I keep shutting out each thought
One day the memories might be gone
The future's like the sun, it hurts my eyes
It blinds me...

What I fear, I crouch beside
Until the weight of their truth flattened my mind
Track Name: Let Me Go

Reach into my darkest thought, I cannot pull away
The cold world outside suddenly makes it feel warmer here
Wherever I am, I just want to get away

I don't remember anything but this loneliness
Maybe that's because that's all there really is
Do you think that what you hold today is really yours?

So sick and tired of things that mean nothing
So paralysed by the loss of all things
Don't tell me it will ever get better
When it always feels it couldn't get worse than this

Let me go
How much does a person have to suffer?
Can you ignore a dead corpse...

They reach inside with their ice cold hands
I always end up at the will of their demands
Before they've even tried to understand what I need

Try to medicate in every way
The demons always find their place inside
Life is a bad hangover that never ends

So sick and tired of things that are meant to mean something
Always end up looking invisible
I may have to force this grin on my face for you
but deep inside I roar...
Track Name: Where?

I'm floating around the room
Have I just left my body for a while?
Will I be coming back ever again?
I feel myself falling deeper and deeper
into places I don't recognise
but these disguises are becoming my home

While they're pulling me back
I'm turning over pictures in my mind
Trying to keep a grip on reality
But I realise...I no longer know what that is
Or if I ever did

I'll do anything to get away from you
This is what I've been pushed to
Now all I find is I need to get away from escaping
But I can't come back
No, I can't come back, come back to where?

I'm staring down at the floor
Following patterns that mislead me to a light
Fading into a colour as pale as the lines that await me
The visions are ripping through my mind

While they're pushing me forward
Before I've even had the chance to deal with the past
Seeing that good moments are just fantasy
I realise...this is my demise
So it's going to keep on happening

Wipe me out of existence(repeat)
The only peace I could ever feel inside
Track Name: Opposites Attract

Sometimes you have to look away to be able to see
Feel intoxicated to remember how to breathe
Allow some room for all doubt so you know what to believe
Pay back all your debts before they demand the fee

Sometimes you have to turn to the past to reach the present day
Have to switch off the light to feel the burning from it's rays
Have to turn your back to leave to find the right place to stay
Give away broken dreams and learn to mend in other ways

Opposites attract
but divide themselves to multiply
An answer is another question why

Sometimes what you hear isn't always what is being said
It's okay to be alive if you know how to play dead
The wounds don't feel as heavy once they've already bled
Have to disconnect what will not leave your head
Track Name: Preaching To The Converted

Maybe the bible's written by the devil?
What if the scripts are all read wrong?
Maybe the story's are all made up?
The sky is empty, no hell or heaven?

What if God is not the good guy?
When do we get to hear the villians side?
Maybe morals never meant a thing?
Do you really believe you are free?

Jesus was a brainwasher and now he's got his guides
You cannot make me swallow lies
Even when you choke me with them

What if sins are the only achievement?
Whatever you believe, you'll find something different
Churches are occults while their leaders on their thrones
Are preaching fables like fact they don't even know
On their megaphones
What if the only maker is yourself?
Did anyone ever answer your prayers?
If god created life....
Don't you think he'd have something better to say if he really cares?
...if he really cares...
Track Name: In Pieces

The day will just carry on
Have to pretend it's all just a bad dream
That must never wake me up
Keep on returning to that cold morning
How long was it creeping up on me?
Holding you in my arms
No amount could ever be enough

I can't take this pain forever
It's the only thing that never ends
I'm in pieces that won't fit back together
Since I've lost you, my friend
(I'll never find you again)

Each day pretends I'm not gone
I know time has stopped
Whenever life is cruel, you brought me comfort
Where will I ever find you now?
I held you in my arms
You were no longer moving
I never wanted to let you go
Track Name: Gone

We never needed words
Our language translated so much in silence
Your eyes, full of such warmth
The only ones I couldn't look away from
Just to see you or feel you near
Almost made the darkness shine

Tell me where you are?
How far will it take to get there?
Nothing else can fill up
Now the empty space we used to share

In this world where it all disappears
I knew you felt too much like I did
You were so special like a fallen angel
I always felt so lucky to hold in my arms
Did you know how much you made it okay
When I died and you were beside me?

I won't admit that you're not around me any more
In my mind you'll never be gone
I heard your cries and saw...I saw you as you died
How could I not save you?
I couldn't help you this time
and now you're...
Track Name: I Had To Say Goodbye

I got the news from a phone call in the afternoon
She said it's an emergency, call your sisters
I waited as you walked through the door in tears
You said your dad is going to die, his only got one year

We went down to see you in the hospital room
The same place they had delivered you the news
We sat around in silence until they started to cry
I looked straight at you and just wondered why?

What must you be feeling in this moment?
What right do I have to cry?
You are the one whose not choosing to die
but they're taking you from our side

Days went by and things were not fine
Something was creeping around time
Within one day, you started to disappear
I saw the pain you felt to still be here

Then only 3 months, it was too late
To find all the right words to translate
I walked down the pink and white corridors to reach you
Knowing this could be the last time

I had to say goodbye
I didn't want you to die
When you know most of me did
I had to say goodbye
but despite how I try
You know I never will

I held your hand for three nights straight
Watching as you deteriorate
Hoping that you won't suffer soon
but I don't want to lose you

I can see you're going somewhere else
The blood starts to rise
I rush to your side
and watch as you leave us behind

I had to say goodbye
I looked right into your eyes
and watched as you died
I had to say goodbye
I looked up into the sky
and watched my world disappear

So many faces at your crematorial
I'd held your hand and it was so cold
and kissed your dead cheek
My head hanging down as I walked away numbly

Hours or was it days or months rolled by
There's nothing left that you would recognise
The world moved on around me
As if I'd travelled forward in time

I had to say goodbye
I couldn't even cry
You know they would never let me
I had to say goodbye
For the last time
It was the end to my family
Track Name: Don't Ask Me

Alone, I'm always alone
Every day of my life, anywhere
There's an absence that can't be filled
Light, have you seen it lately?(repeat)
They tell me the world can still be good if you let it
When will it let me?(repeat)

Don't ask me to keep on going
I am here and that's more then enough for me

Pain, I'm always in pain
They just say get over it
How can you change what is permanent?
Time, I've lost so many years
By the time I reach them
I'll be too old
Track Name: Last Days

I watched as my cigarette burnt out in the ashtray
and thought about all the things I couldn't say
I pictured you lying down on your deathbed
and how you didn't know I knew what that looked like
as you didn't even know me at all

I wondered if your face resembled mine at all
The last time I saw you, I was so small
I heard you were mean and so maybe you deserve
the punishment you're receiving right now
or maybe I'm as cold as what runs through my blood

I worry about her though does she look out for me?
It seems like every year I have less and less family
There wasn't much in the beginning
but now I hardly feel a thing
As much as I cling to a last hope

Thinking about all the things I've been missing
Obviously, I could survive without them
but in the end survival and happiness
have nothing to do with each other
though they both reach the same end

I watched as another cigarette burnt out in the ashtray
It just as easily could be my last day
as every moment feels like it is
I cannot cope with it
So in a way, maybe envy is keeping me at bay
I won't be there to say goodbye to you today
Maybe in another life you will love your daughter
and maybe then she may learn how to love hers
Track Name: Long Descent

Nobody has the time
Except to waste all of mine
You'll drown me in your lies
Then expect me to come up for air
Nobody can repair
It's too late now I don't care
I wasn't relevant anywhere
Is there a place I can find?
Where somebody has a spine?
Nobody has the time...

All you care about is what you can get
All I care about is what I do not have
but I won't tread on anyone's toes, except my own, to get there
(You'll tread on everyone's toes, except your own, to get there)

I cannot pretend that anyone gives a damn
While I reach for something sincere, they grab back with dirty hands
I don't want any fans...
They'll twist it all around to suit themselves
While you're left to grow colder
Always longing for what will never happen
They don't want it to...
Nothing is ever true