Demos 2010 CD2 (First Takes)

by Sorrow Stories

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about

First Take Demos from 2010 CD2

Note from Tina Forlorn:

These songs are very raw and were recorded when I didn't have good quality/or the right equipment nor any experience or knowledge of recording/production. Many of the tracks were recorded at the time of creation, often having only just decided how the music or singing was going to go, sometimes upon hitting the record button. Therefore, these are first takes, there are mistakes but there is a natural experience that can only be captured from the first time which for those of you who can look past these things, can hopefully appreciate. Somewhere in the future, you may hear these songs from me again in better quality and/or as different versions.

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released December 2, 2015

All music, lyrics, production by Sorrow Stories

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Sorrow Stories London, UK

Sorrow Stories is an One-Female Band created by Tina Forlorn.

On database with 'The Main Idea', a US company who are known for TV Ads.

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Track Name: A Long Time Ago...
A LONG TIME AGO...

Once upon a time, I felt each moment as it went away
Now today, all I know is I feel myself slipping further and further down
So much, I should just let go

There once was a fairytale
It became my whole life
and took over everything that was real
Until the day it was revealed
I was left with nothing

I heard many nursery rhymes
but none of their words made any sense to me
I was looking up at the sky from my pushchair before I fell from there
and turned to face a world so ugly
I turned to face a world so ugly, so ugly
Track Name: Altered Realities (Vocals)
ALTERED REALITIES (Vocals)

The only place to go is back inside my mind
but there's no safety guard to keep on the trigger
The world that I knew has taken me now
and changed of my realities

I never want to wake up just to see it all again
As if my life just exists in re-runs
The memories hurt enough the first time to relive
From the times they never should have happened

There's no more thinking, I don't know what to do
In all the faces I know, not one of them is true
So I can blank them all out as though they're not real
and therefore I don't have to hurt
and I will learn how to forget how to feel

The way you act gives others permission to behave the same
The chance of resolution has gone
From a world that dumped me into the lowest form of existence
May you all rot in hell, in regards of my best wishes

I never want to wake up and breathe it all in again
The fumes of the stink of God are intoxicating
I see that within all the other clones, I do not match them
Not even enough to pass as an un-identical twin

There are no more feelings, I don't know what to do
In all the faces I recognise, I never really knew
So they cannot exist in my memory or future
and that must include myself too

There is no more thinking, I don't know what to do
In all the faces I know, not one of them true
So I can blank them out, although they're are not real
and therefore I don't have to hurt
and I will learn to forget how to feel

There is no more feelings, I don't know what to do
In all the faces I recognise, not one of them is you
So they cannot exist in my memory of future
and that must include myself too
Track Name: Breaking Medals
BREAKING MEDALS

All the moments are forgotten
with every passing second
but you will clearly be reminded of some of them
Time has had its passing
In all of the minutes it's lived in
but most of all the chances
it's had to die

And you won't think of them today
but you may regret it tomorrow
You have no control of the thoughts
That may be directed to your future
Which you cannot see
Because suddenly it's gone
You're already there
It's already done
So once again
You won't think of them
Before it's too late

Intentions are a backstage pass
The wish isn't meant to last
Once been granted
Nothing to look forward to
and the experience is over
Back to before you even cared
and you did
Track Name: Slipping Down
SLIPPING DOWN

There's no love for free
There's no love for me
but I have my misery
to tell all of my stories

Lower, there's no getting lower then where I am
Higher, I can't get higher then the ground
Nomatter how I keep falling down
Nomatter how I keep falling down

Noone means a thing
and now not even me
What's to be sure of?
In a world of uncertainty

Lower, the more I keep on going
Higher, the less I keep on sleeping
Nomatter how I keep on lifting myself up
I can't hold the weight

No contact with the outside world
Makes a better place to know myself
No contact with who I am
Makes a bigger hole to land into
and never see the light again
I'll never see the light again
How would I know the difference?
I never saw it in the first place
I never felt it before
Now I know I never will
I never felt it before
Track Name: Stitched Lips
STITCHED LIPS

Freedom of speech comes in brackets
A second just passed is discontinued
Some moments have no memory
Your memory fights for something new

We are programmed to believe
What we don't even know is true
The trick is to learn to see
Your own point of view

We never live up to
The dreams we shed
We lose ourselves most in the things we hate
We aim to be more
then we can take
Then we stop
and never come back from the break

Freedom of speech writes in stars
No one cares who you are
The times you spent with a smile
Will never be as long
as the lonely road you walk for miles
Track Name: Into The Abyss (Vocals)
INTO THE ABYSS (Vocals)

As I stare straight into the abyss
I recognise every part of my life as this
All places seem so far in the distance
I could never catch up with them

Pain's dropping on me like a silence bomb
Waiting for myself to explode
but I've switched the off button as far as it could go
Every part of my skin ripped before I became this numb

but I still feel it bubbling under the surface
Blood cots always awaiting another hemorrhage
The remains that can never be removed from my head
Until I am dead

As I fall further into the abyss
I see that only my last wish could exist
It was there all along disguised as pain
I only ever felt better when another part of me went away

I couldn't see the UFOs as I was the one flying the saucers
Am I the only one that doesn't wish for immortality?

As I fall further further into the abyss
It wouldn't take a genius to know it would come to this
I never recovered from losing myself along the way
I never had a chance in the first place
Track Name: Darkest Hour
DARKEST HOUR

I know of no destination I don't end up wishing to leave
I've reached my darkest hour each time my mind awakens my eyes for me
When closing them was no paradise either
I only long to be neither paralysed between my memories and fears
I never long to return to here

Feeling my footsteps walking out from underneath me
Am I really this dead already?
I heard that this is where peace comes
but what if it never does?
I've lost all way to reach outside this agony
Every escape just finds its way to strangle me
but when will it pull tight enough?
Why don't I just give up?

I feel every last bit of hope being flushed out
I know all dreams are lost within each moment of decay
The little I have meant the world to me
but now my eyes are so empty
Track Name: Countdown (Vocals)
COUNTDOWN (Vocals)

With this many flashbacks, how can I not be dying?
Could one dream finally be mine?
I should be devastated but each second I'm a little more elated
Knowing that whatever happens now, I'm just biding my time

I would say that this hurts
but I really cannot feel it
It seems like that everything that mattered
Doesn't mean anything any more

It's always competition
but I still don't know if I ever won
What I hold today will slip away tomorrow
Nothing's set in stone
Only all of the ones thrown at me
It would seem, they'll do anything to make me bleed
but I'm already wounded
I don't even feel it now
There's nothing left that you can do to hurt me
but give it your best shot
I know you will

I would say that this hurts
but I really cannot feel it
It seems like everyone that matters doesn't mean
anything to anyone
I would say that this hurts
but I really cannot feel it
It seems like everything that mattered
Doesn't mean anything, any more
Track Name: Crawl
CRAWL

Crawling along the road
I won't be looking over my shoulder
I don't want to ever go back
Once I've left here...

Allowing my thoughts now just to
Multiply in their own time
As I know that I'll never be rid of them

Sadness, there's no getting rid of you
You trip me up and then you haunt me in
everything I do
In every face I know, I see betrayal
I'm the only one willing to understand
but nobody will tell me how...

How? Nobody will tell me how?
No one will tell me how?
Track Name: Fail To Remember
FAIL TO REMEMBER

The warm rushes of hysteria
Flood your mainstream like a joke being played on you
The cold patches of skin
Bleed your insides like a wound forever opening

The dark sides of a solemn place
Takes you over like the sun being pushed behind the clouds
The light shines nowhere near all the moments you need to see
Your going blind to

I even fail at being a failure
but I never fail, fail to remember
I vail to remember, I vail to remember

The hard parts are the discomfort amongst all those tilted scales
that are always falling down
The soft parts I hear grumbled somewhere long ago
When words had meaning

Life is always disentangling me but the ropes pull tighter
Every step I take away
Death has visited time and time again
The hours wear me like a watch from centuries old

Right step towards my fate took me right back to the start
where it was first ruined
Wrong things where I have been. No closet for the memories
Just an unwritten page in my head.
Track Name: Message Understood
MESSAGE UNDERSTOOD

There is no end to the thoughts I'm thinking
Nobody to make it feel like this is worth going through
No relief to any of my feelings
Nobody to help me who really wants to

If I take their time, I make a new resentment
If I complain, they say I'm not looking at it right
If I voice my opinion, then they find an excuse to lie
If I stay silent, they want to know why
If I smile, they confuse it with being happy
If I frown, they call me negative
If I point at the truth, I'm considered too harsh
If I were to fabricate, I'd be no better than them

There is no place that I can be comfortable
When you are good, you must be gullable
With no way to see passed the misery
Without love, you are nothing special

If I speak, they talk over me
If I shout, they tell me to quieten down
If I nod, they carry on rambling
and if I mumble, they ask me to repeat myself
If I touch, they only want more and more
and if I don't then they go somewhere else
If I love, they just keep on hating me
and if I judge, they make it too easy

If I live, they make me feel the pain of breathing
If I survive, I'm never reminded again
Track Name: Rip (Vocals)
RIP (Vocals)

Please keep on ripping at my holes
and one day I may not feel the tears
When they look and feel as empty as you

You have no regard to my wishes
What you take entitles you to only more
In your mind of self-indulgence

I wish I could be as callus, so you could know what's it's like
To be on the other side of hell
You never stuck to a promise, let alone your word
I doubt you ever meant a thing
Track Name: The Demanding Hands Of Restriction
THE DEMANDING HANDS OF RESTRICTION

You are all the places hidden in the discomfort
Peeking out to remind me that I am hurt
Reunions long await...
but there's always time to desert
I miss you like long, lost days
I barely remember any more
but there's always something cold
I'm always looking to warm
I know that I'm forgotten
So how do you remember me?
I've departed and you'll never know
All the things I've seen and been

I shrivelled in your presence
Until I disappeared
You said always be yourself
but you never let me near
Just who are you lately?
Is this what the world did to you?
You are meant to be my example
Just look at what I've been through

Children speak her name
Like that is their whole world
I do not know what they mean
It's a true story, I'm told...

Through a brittle tongue
I tried to see you well
I still hope with the anger aside
that I can still
I don't want to hurt you
although that's all you've given to me
You may smile and run away for miles
but don't take me please...

You are the faces hidden in my remains
Staring me down to remind of what has gone
Memories are all that last
and the seasons never pass the sun
I love you like long, lost days
When my heart didn't hurt to feel
I was delusioned but the truth was never more real
I know that I'm forgotten
so how do you remember me?
I am broken in every place
and all the pieces are missing...
Track Name: Air Bubbles (Vocals)
AIR BUBBLES (Vocals)

I guess I've been looking for ways out
The calm soon jams up, shutting me out
Until I cannot breathe

I guess I could be looking for answers
that has no answer and will never be coming

Soon...Soon...I will be about to leave
Soon...Soon...I will be about to leave

I guess I've been blinded to the things that
I've been trying to see
and I've been reaching for all those things
I cannot feel
I guess I believed in lies but I still don't know why
Or what is real

There is no air...just the bubbles
From which I can't continue to hold in

I guess I've become somebody else
Who I didn't notice along the way
but I've seen a certain reflection
that seems to carry my face
I guess I could start over
but I don't know where the line was crossed
So I crawl back to the beginning
but all I feel is lost
Track Name: Share The Sin
SHARE THE SIN

The drug absorbs itself into my mainstream
Can you feel the pain as my blood trickles down?
I lay unconscious, helpless, staring into the hole
That everybody opens wider

Lost the feelings that always controlled me
Now somewhere in the back of my mind
Like an old movie, I've seen too many times
Should I fear for my life, if life is all that I'm scared of?
When it always looks so much better on the other side

Attend to all the people I should be
Enough to keep you satisfied, or am I just a lie?
and how would I know?
When I've never known anything else from you've taught me?
Maybe I escape, but it's still realities you've never seen
but expect me to believe in all that you know
Which is very little compared the pain you give so regulary

My head falls, staring down into my feet
The same way you were always pushing me
I stand, restless, anxiety always overwhelming
The other sides I used to be
None of the roads look comfortable and
I lose my direction every way I go
Stuck in the invention of all of these morals
That nobody means or ever lives up to
The guilt that plaques me is your sin too

Share the sin (repeat)
The guilt that plagues me is your sin too
Track Name: I Say Goodbye (Vocals)
I SAY GOODBYE

I am at the biggest height, who could catch me if I fell?
I've sunken so deeply into a world of chemicals
All I need is time to think and erase all of my thoughts
Inside the cave of my mind, the sea came right in

I can't ask for help, there's no one in my way
Cannot breathe with these memories, they're all that I am now

I want to say I can try and I want to say that I'll succeed
and I really don't want to lie but I know that it's too late for me
I really want to live, I really to share
I really want to stay but I know I'll never be there again

I'm at the largest low, who could ever pick me up?
The anchor on my back would kill them in an instant
All I need is time to feel and erase all of my emotions
Inside the sweetness of my heart, they ripped me across the chest

I can't ask for access, there's no one who speaks at my level
Cannot sleep with these memories, they're all that I was and now I

Want to say that I can I try, I want to say that I'll survive
I really don't want to cry one more day of this
and I really don't want to live and I really don't want to resist
Another day to take my life and say goodbye
and say goodbye, I say goodbye. I say goodbye.