Demos 2009 (First Takes) CD2

by Sorrow Stories

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about

Demos 2009 (First Takes) CD2

Note from Tina Forlorn:

These songs are very raw and were recorded when I didn't have good quality/or the right equipment nor any experience or knowledge of recording/production. Many of the tracks were recorded at the time of creation, often having only just decided how the music or singing was going to go, sometimes upon hitting the record button. Therefore, these are first takes, there are mistakes but there is a natural experience that can only be captured from the first time which for those of you who can look past these things, can hopefully appreciate. Somewhere in the future, you may hear these songs from me again in better quality and/or as different versions.

credits

released October 19, 2015

All music, lyrics, production, rights: Sorrow Stories

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Sorrow Stories London, UK

Sorrow Stories is an One-Female Band created by Tina Forlorn.

On database with 'The Main Idea', a US company who are known for TV Ads.

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Track Name: In Your Eyes
IN YOUR EYES

The picture frames look so deserted now
Could never go back to a thought so far away
The pointed fingers, they were aimed at me
While the thumbs were directed at you

I'm dead in your eyes, I'm dead in your heart
I'm dead. Full stop.

I saw the mistakes and the spitting games
I tried to correct what was already ruined
I tried to save someone that wanted to kill me
I didn't succeed but they did

I'm dead in your eyes, I'm dead in your heart
I'm dead. Full stop.

I never knew what was the right move
but you were the first to correct me
I never meant for anything but love
Wasn't even the last thing that I got

I'm dead in my eyes. I'm dead in my heart
I don't remember from the start.

I'm dead in all eyes so how can I see you're alive?
To ever return my heart to a place that's so cold and dead
I'm dead in all eyes so why would I try to ever live for your lies again?
No, I'll never live for your lies again...
Track Name: The Numbing Heart
THE NUMBING HEART

It's like my head is scratching nails
It hurts the more with each thought
Bad dreaming about her and her and her
and what they meant to you
I remember the things you choose to forget
The stories still do not make sense
You could never been sincere
and I don't want to be here

Inside your web of lies
but here I lye
Dead and in love with whoever I made up
From the person you said you were

No, we are not over
It's my life that has come to an end
I promise my love forever
So stop my heart from beating if you can
No, we are not true
Whatever that's meant to be
I am yours and you are yours
and the rest we fail to see

Sometimes I need to escape
It hurts too much to be near you
I was so open. Now I'm shut in this jealous rage
Where all are words are broken and all memories have changed
When I look back at what they meant to me
Now I know I was the only one who saw them that way

All you can say is don't worry
Or when will you leave it alone?
Why did you have to do this to me?
You knew I would never get it out of my head
Next time, think with your heart
Track Name: Permanent Errors
PERMANENT ERRORS

I feel death coming around the corner
Will it be stopping at my door this time?
If I was breathing any slower
I don't think that anyone would mind

It hurts in all the right places
From so many faces
Who promised to be true
I'm left with the permenent errors

I won't be feeling any warmer
The sickness, it just comes sooner
To make the room for more
Find me only when I play the part
Of the story I've read all before

I know life is always worse around the corner
and I'm always about to step off the road
If I could explain things easier, tell them faster
I still don't think that anybody could know
That it hurts...it hurts...it hurts...

I know life is always worse around the corner
Track Name: Previously (Vocals)
PREVIOUSLY

I have been tiptoeing around the corners of my mind
Eventually they all catch up with each other
The distance is the amount of time I'm leaving behind
In the previous events is all there is to go forward with

Feeling this sickness vomit all over me
Left as the mess you always wanted me to be(tried to make me be)
Everybody can only go so far
and I have for too long, too much
Watch me as I cringe, feel me as I shiver
I could be as cold as the things that led me to be
Tell me there's still hope, make me believe
That anything I ever thought wasn't always(all) in vain
Throw me a life jacket, not just another punchline
You know that I am passed being amused by my sadness

I have been falling, falling into dreams
One day I'll never wake up from them again
The closer I see is the amount of things I'm being blinded to
In the future events I will not be able to turn back from

I feel myself only when delierious
Nothing I said was taken serious
Now don't be surprised after all your little white lies
When all that comes true is all that I predicted
From all you inflicted, from all you inflicted
Because you love me, because you love me...
Track Name: Sadness
SADNESS

Cannot bleed another day but I know my wounds are open
My tears will never shed the heart attacks of my love
I'm finding home is the last place you would want to be
Things you thought made sense were the ones that tricked you the most

In my pathways, I seeked adventure
At only the cost of myself
and so did everyone else, so did everyone else...

You can't regret what you intended
If you meant it at the time
You can't forget where you were when
you lost your mind
but you can remember that it's never coming back
(no, I'm never coming back, I'm never coming back)

My tired eyes sought a friend
Claiming a place of solitude
I always knew loneliness
but never this true
How can this be the end?
I never saw the birth
How can this be the end?
It never finishes
Track Name: Sever
SEVER

I try to sever these thoughts
but they never want to part with me
I once could look into the sky
Now it looks away so vacantly

A thought cannot be shared
When it's reached this dead end
Only to become another weight
That cannot be lifted
I see too much through the bars I'm behind
Where being dead is always at the top of your wishlist

I heard a lot of words from many peoples mouths
Only later to find out they all were miming
If I ever used to know what sanity was
It's long since been all forgotten
Track Name: Taste The Despair (Version 1)
TASTE THE DESPAIR

I'm huddled in a ball, looking for my tourist
My feelings are emptied and filled with only hurt
I looked for something new but all you get is the truth
That nothing changes as much as you want it to

Where to now?
I don't know how much longer I can breathe this air
It's stopping me from the things that I could be
and all I taste is despair

I'm caught up in my mind like a fish hook to my thoughts
The lies you've given to me and all of the results
I can't drink it away but I go there sometimes
Because I know that there is nothing else for me now

Because no one cares.
No one cares.
No one cares.
No one cares anymore.
No one cares at all.
Track Name: The Rules Of Chemotherapy
THE RULES OF CHEMOTHERAPY

Am I dead already? Or has my heart just given up?
I believe there holds no reality, there's nothing that is true
and when you finally start to see, I will close my eyes
and when you come looking for me, I'll just say I told you

I feel my hours disappear, like my memories are flashing through time
Being pulled backwards, further into places I tried so much to leave behind
Well maybe intensity can loosens its mind
Or maybe in the jigsaw puzzle, the missing piece is all you find

I don't have any excuses for wanting to leave
There are just no more reasons left to stay
I would get down on my knees but I'm already crawling
My life is just here to play tricks on me but
it cannot catch me laughing

How can I describe a life worth living
If all I've done is died?
How can I feel that love's worth sharing
If all that's said is lies?
How do I know about losing sanity
If I've never known mine?
Never known mine, I've never known mine

Why won't you kill me(repeat)?
Is it because you know I'll be better off
and if suicide is all that looks attactive
Then why hesitate?

Even if you begged me, I could never change my feelings
They're trapped against the outskirts of my open mind
There is no such thing as really believing or knowing
It's just a place they show you to convince you that they're right
Track Name: The Consequence (Vocals)
THE CONSEQUENCE

You put so much emptiness into my meanings
There's no way out from this dirty little hole
It's true, you shouldn't blame games with life
You could end up responsible for who the characters become

Now I, I have no feelings
Am I now everything you wanted me to be?
In the end, why is it only when you pretend
That they are happy?
Now I, I've disappeared
Back in time to so many years ago
When I must have chosen a path
That now has been thrown away
Left to face my darkest days alone

You gave me anger that left me in hate
but now it's worse then that, it's nothing
It's true, you will regret it all in time
but meanwhile through always asking
for more than you really wanted
I will start to look more and more like
all that you don't
Track Name: Zopiclone
ZOPICLONE

You never really intended for this
Isn't that usually where it's found?
At first it was so relieving to just know how to sleep
and for months I never come back around

You thought the worst of this sort of thing had been done
I felt mostly blankless and little euphoria
but all those little tablets kept niggling at me
and I realised it was only emptiness I was after

Like an unconscious body
Where the mind is still fighting outside
but it is so passed dying
Trying to make it back again
Was the only challenge I could channel in

You used to be pleasantly surprised to feel high again
but each pill was becoming more than a handful
I was a ghost to my former, I could feel no heroin
but there I was safer than where I was going

You tried to put an end to this
A few weeks here and there doesn't mean quitting
I'm stuck in a lifetime of addictions
and now there's only one left in the sachet
and it's me
Track Name: Everything Stops Meaning (Vocals)
EVERYTHING STOPS MEANING

The sliences of my rage are biting through my armour
All I can feel is this discomfort imbedded indefintely
I tell you I cannot live this way anymore
and then you give me more images to take on
but my heads already full up with them

Who can me feel a little better
let alone take away this despair
I'm not happy, not right in the head
I don't understand all of these things
I'm expected to
I can't agree to where I don't relate
and I have no problem with anyone who thinks a different way
but I always get made to sit on the spikey parts
on the other side of the gate

Crying out for pain relief, morphine come and take over me
Because I don't need to be here anymore
I never belong
The things I know are right, they will always say are wrong
Turn away from humanity, there's no compassion there for me
Just a never ending hole of darkness
They're always trying to push me in
but I'm already in it and I can't get out
As long as I stay here
Rotting next to their carcasses

I wish that I could just put on a mask and pretend I'm happy there
That you could switch your remote and I could respond accordingly
Believe me, life would feel so much easier, I would never
Have to think or feel to care that you're hurting me

So who can make me feel a little more desperate?
Calling once, twice, three times...sold to you
I am not joking but I caught them laughing when I said
“you're killing me”
I know it doesn't matter how much I've given
As long as you can still take away from me
It doesn't matter if I can take it
as you'll always do what you want to
It doesn't matter if it hurts me

So come on now, finish me off
Come on now, just leave me with half my heart
Come on now, do this job properly
Come on now, give something back to me
Come on now, show me you really mean it, be yourself
Come on now, this time I don't want to just believe it
Come on now, put me in the hell you always show

It never mattered how much it hurts me
It never mattered how much it hurts
Track Name: When Time Comes To An End
WHEN TIME COMES TO AN END

So sad, I drown in my own tears of sorrow
All I think is bad thoughts, I have no tomorrow
I stare into millions of faces of liars
Never wanted my life, I need to retire

You can't save me, now
I needed you then
The time for that has gone
and I'll never get it back again

So down, my head's forever falling
No sound they make of my heart crashing
I turn away from the millions of faces of liars
Just to find me staring at myself

Even if my heart could convince me my heart is beating
My life is over, over, over
Track Name: Invisible (Vocals)
INVISIBLE

Letting the demons run around
There's no putting a stop to them
What you cannot express
You'll find another way to release it
but I never do

Taking part in this challenge
Involuntarily
Will I survive again or surely die?

Just because you think you see me
Doesn't mean I am here any more
I closed my doors and I couldn't
see myself on the other sides

I'm only glass on a mirror
Waiting to break and show some blood
but there's nothing left to bleed
Track Name: Making Silence Permanent
MAKING SILENCE PERMANENT

Forcing smiles, uncomfortably
It's been quite a while since sanity
Or at least that's what they used to call it

The body of within, I deteriate
Always keeps me in this state of mind
but sometimes I just get switched off

Making silence permanent
Is all I need to do now
I feel myself only in the photos I want to forget
The search for happiness is worldwide
but those who've found it, really is just a rumor

Cold mornings, shivering
It's been quite a while since warmer skin
Kept me safe enough to hibernate in
Or to slowly to die

Transparent lies keep me haunted
and will never stop clinging to my brain
As long as they're kept in secret

Maligent wounds hurting
The words never stop stinging
However much I turn, in direction

The mind of within, it concentrates
Always keeps me in this state of mind
Of what matters the most
and that is what is killing me
Track Name: Taste The Despair (Version 2)
TASTE THE DESPAIR

I'm huddled in a ball, looking for my tourist
My feelings are emptied and filled with only hurt
I looked for something new but all you get is the truth
That nothing changes as much as you want it to

Where to now?
I don't know how much longer I can breathe this air
It's stopping me from the things that I could be
and all I taste is despair

I'm caught up in my mind like a fish hook to my thoughts
The lies you've given to me and all of the results
I can't drink it away but I go there sometimes
Because I know that there is nothing else for me now

Because no one cares.
No one cares.
No one cares.
No one cares anymore.
No one cares at all.