Demos 2009 (First Takes) CD1

by Sorrow Stories

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about

Demos from 2009 (First Takes) CD1

Note from Tina Forlorn:

These songs are very raw and were recorded when I didn't have good quality/or the right equipment nor any experience or knowledge of recording/production. Many of the tracks were recorded at the time of creation, often having only just decided how the music or singing was going to go, sometimes upon hitting the record button. Therefore, these are first takes, there are mistakes but there is a natural experience that can only be captured from the first time which for those of you who can look past these things, can hopefully appreciate. Somewhere in the future, you may hear these songs from me again in better quality and/or as different versions.

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released September 28, 2015

All lyrics/music/rights: Sorrow Stories

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Sorrow Stories London, UK

Sorrow Stories is an One-Female Band created by Tina Forlorn.

On database with 'The Main Idea', a US company who are known for TV Ads.

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Track Name: 999 (Emergency Exit) (Vocals)
999 (Emergency Exit)

When every smile is a counterfeit
I've lost all reason to respond
Everybody's a suspect
Because each pair of lips never part with much truth at all
and each moment is just waiting
for the next to take its place
No word is legitimate
There's no genuine face
Every promise is joking
Holding fingers behind your back
The eyes never take notice of
The things that the mind feel detached
As the illness takes over
Preserving no place left for help
If nothing is an emergency
Who do you call for help?

The price that you pay
is always worth more than the cost
and the amount that you gain
is taken from you with each loss
and the ideas that seemed so bright
darken with each focuse
then you know you never should have believed
in anyone or anything

The horizons that look beautiful
Turn ugly at approach
and the genuine, seemingly
are really just a cockroach
If you expand your mind
You risk emptying all that you know
Nobody knows anything, no
but they'll always tell you so
Everyone's ability's disabled
Restrictions holding you down
Why are the loudest of screams
The ones most silenced down?
When a side is chosen
You've made new enemies
and every voice that is broken
Can only speak upon their knees
What holds the memory for the parts we save?
Death is always closer than yesterday.
Track Name: All These Webs
ALL THESE WEBS

I'm in pain, I need some kind of medicine now
My focus is lost in the pits of my tremors
Reawaken the hopes that were there before I was gone
I want to be as thick as to know that nothing is wrong
Shelter me with all the comforts of cotton
and tie up the knots at all ends
I'm struggling and my mind has forgotten
If it ever knew how to forget

Take my words as true as I speak them
I never had a beginning so please tell me how something
to believe in should be believed
The web of their lies left me spinning
I'm the sacrifice for their amusement
I need just one sigh but I can't even breathe

I am so lost but I'd rather stay then go back down
Where all there backs face me, tear out the last of my love an effort
Need to be thicker than them to overcome the cold
Trap me into the cage I feel in all of your presence
Be true about your intentions, I'm fumbling with my memories
They're not even safe in my mind

I'll never get away now (never get away)
I'll never start again now (never start again)
Track Name: All The Voids
ALL THE VOIDS

Life has never tasted more sour
Even with less reason to complain
I long for the toxics that save me
and are running out of my veins

I don't remember a life without them
With any comfort to breathe
I haven't felt oxygen lately
but at least they still help me to see

Counting the numbers of the days that pass
Will these feelings always last?
The further away, there's no turning back
Just my head cut into broken glass

Death has never seemed so far
Although the wishes still strong
I once knew the ways of my future
Now I know there isn't one

I shiver and hurt, my bones are so weak
My mind is the mess I tried to escape
Can't eat, can't sleep, no goals to meet
and no one will ever understand me

What can I take to fill the voids?
From all the voids I filled before?
What can I take to fill the voids?
From the voids I filled before?
From all the voids from before
Track Name: Deleted Parts
DELETED PARTS

Do you know of my sadness?
You've written it in stone
I never needed a reminder
To make me feel like this is my only home

I'm starving of humanity
Because it's so god damn ugly
Full of lies and excuses
I hope they were wrong about eternity

Because once I scribble out all the stories
I'm only left with blank pages
and an empty pen
and no will to start again
Deleted parts makes no room for my heart
(makes no room for my broken heart)

Can you read your name on my cast
Does it feel you with your joy?
To know your such a part of me, every broken piece
and now you'll need a new heart to destroy
Because what is left of mine?
Track Name: As Long As You're Dead
AS LONG AS YOU'RE DEAD

Wishes prevail the moment that they're true
No one means a word they say, except maybe in the moment

There's no one and only
Nobody is that pretty
Lust holds the ties to the depths of our hearts
For the moment, the rest can be forgot

I did everything to please you
Even when it killed me
So please tell me now, how was it worth this pain?
I'm the only one that's true
but who would believe in this world of liars and cheats?
Nobody is perfect, least of all me
but at least I mean everything

I did everything to please you
I meant what I said but not any more
Once broken, there's nothing to live for
There's no one and only
So I would rather be lonely
Lust killed the ties to the depths of my heart
For this moment, we're better off apart

As long as you're dead, they love you
(as long as you're dead)They want you
(As long as you're dead) They'll bring you back just to kill you
Just to make you one of them
I'll never be one of them
As long as I'm dead
Track Name: Beneath The Cover
BENEATH THE COVER

I looked beneath the cover
Now fold each of the pages over
and let me finally reach the end
When each of your dreams
Only become real in curses
It's better not to wish for them

It doesn't have to be this difficult, does it?
I can't find my way around this
Keep the thoughts to myself and my feelings even closer
Maybe the needles can pinch (my reality of) whatever's left to finish

Try to lose myself. Ideas wearing thin of where else to go
When it's the pain I never get immune to
Everybody is falling apart, I'm trying to hold them up
but I can't even see the doors I'm meant to walk through
Track Name: Bitter Smiles
BITTER SMILES

There are no words that can discussed
Especially when you really must
Kept in silence, they may ask what's wrong
but the answer is to just play along
and stay in the role they've created for you
Do not think or feel, except how they want you to

There are no intentions that mean what they say
We're all looking for a reward to finish each day
What's a little lie for the price of true love
and who cares that pain's more than enough?
They're only looking for a prostitute
In an elegant, conservative suit

Please don't forget to remind me of how much I'm hurting
(don't forget to remind me of)What my position in life is
(don't forget to remind me)That my wishes will always be unfulfilled
(don't forget to remind me)That nothing in this life is real
I know you won't (repeat)
There are no actions that can make up for the damage done
Especially when you can say what they are
Kept in cocoons, they will laugh at you
You're just a cartoon, coloured in too soon
but know that one day with your bitter smiles
They could never walk a thousand steps in your miles

I take it all back and I never said a thing (repeat)
I take it all back
Track Name: Bleeding Tears
BLEEDING TEARS

I couldn't remember yesterday, even if I had been there
but I still cannot forget all the times before
I fell asleep as if in a dream, or was it a nightmare
That I never managed to wake up from?

I slurred my speeches that only meant sense to me
and found I only existed in a memory, I couldn't remember

Yesterday, it's as if I had died long ago
and I couldn't recall my burial
I fell asleep as if overdosed or was it enjoyment
That I never managed to feel or restall?

When will I get out from inside...here?...
Is nowhere I recognise.
Just bleeding tears.
That stains my life and hides it away from me

I couldn't remember yesterday and even if I could
I'd choose not to as it wasn't any good
I fell asleep as though I'd never woke
and all of my thoughts was a token of bad luck
Track Name: Carving Swans
CARVING SWANS

I declare my heart is true
Carved a swan, are you aware it's attached to you?
I'm a delicate leaf and you're my shining star
Cannot feel you until the lonely nights have risen

Watch out for the messages your words don't expose
Wish you knew I don't mind as long as your love
Doesn't linger into the arms of someone else
When I want to be the only thoughts filling up your head
As your filling up my life

I feel you as you stand next to me
Let me take away your fears with my touch
Know I am so disappointing, let me make it up to you
and if I can't then you are free to disconnect

I'm limping, unknowing of what's your intentions
but you keep my mind twisting and I'll find a way to untangle
You think of me as an asteroid
but you're wrong

I think you want to be a star in someone elses sky
and if so all I want is for you to take with you
the knowledge that you're still the only one in mine (repeat)
Track Name: Changes
CHANGES

Changes, I'm adaptable but there really isn't anything new
Love only damages
Should have the warning: it will take your life away from you
Faces, they're so ugly
but that's not anything compared to the restrictions
Funeral's, I'm always planning
but there is no space left

I could have been all of your dreams
but you would always wake me up
Now I will never go back to sleep
I'll never go back to sleep

Words, dismiss all of them
Truth speaks in all the silences
Sex is all that anybody wants
While I die inside my body
Sins, they've all been completed
There's no such thing as regret
Games, I can see you playing them
but I'm the one's that's going to end it
Nobody has a conscience
Track Name: Desensitised
DESENSITISED

A cigarette is smoked, estimates for death counts of the year
Local shop trade and tax money paid
MDMA killed one girl, she drank too much water
Headlines and a shock wave to wake up all our daughters
Religion speaks in volumes, pay for the visits to your God
Bible sells at charity. The price is your brain, your sanity.

Desensitised
Demeaned by all those you know
Desensitised
When you have no opinion
Believe in my lies, believe in my lies, believe in my lies
It's all alibi's

The newly wed swears to be honest and loyal
but can't even prove the God he made the vowels under
Blood's thicker than water
and has many more stains too
Popularity spells pornography in as much as you can sell
Sex is vain and so's your brain when lust is all you can smell

Desensitised
There's no one wise that will tell it like it is
Desensitised
By all the lies and the will to cope with it
Look for the truth, look for the truth, look for the truth
Because no one will give it to you

Black and gay is cool today
Except behind their backs
The overweight has a new diet
The latest model magazine
Women got the vote
While giving head to the chairman
The children have to fight all the wars
Left over by their parents

Desensitised
We never get told why
So we invent our own answers
Desensitised
We have drawn our own skies
Where we take our chances to be desensitised
Track Name: Everything Sells...At The Right Price
EVERYTHING SELLS...AT THE RIGHT PRICE

The more vacant I look, the more fulfilled I am
The closest I can get to being okay with never being part of you
Or ever relating to anything
I sipped up words that were not clear
I slipped on the shit that brought me to here
Then just fell further
I didn't know how to look after myself anymore

Because the ones you love will tell you lies
Those you call friends, will leave your side
Right when you really need them most
They've forgotten who you were to them
You pick at the holes that can't be filled
and life is here to remind you of what they steal
Every day, our your window
Every reflection in the mirror

Are you happier now you hold my heart
but you only own the blood slipping down my sleeve?
Do you remember me? Can't you remind me?
Of who we promised to be?

Are you a pimp or a prostitute?
Which one looks more appealing?
I tried to be neither but either was never revealing enough for you
Don't you see with images tells it's own story about who you are
and all of your intentions before you even open your mouth
So close it now and think about what you're saying
and if you really mean it then tell me
but don't expect me to be happy just because that's how you feel
I will keep my mind open, I will close my eyes for you
but remember when there's something that you want me to do
Don't expect me to, just because it hurts you

The harder the life, the more life gets harder for you
I tried to hide the facts from myself but they always got through
Tears weren't enough and death is for laughs, what choice next?
I've taken all the drugs, now I can't give them up

The ones you love will make you hate in time
Everything you liked about yourself
Right when you need to feel good inside
They've forgotten how to hide their comments
You pick at the few layers of skin left
and start Gnawing at them before they get to them
Every day you feel a little more sore
but you can't remember if you felt much before

Are you miserable now I know how little you think of me?
(Will give to me)
Do you remember all those promises?
Well they were true but you may as well say that they're not anymore
No, they're not anymore
Track Name: Face Of Sincerity
FACE OF SINCERITY

Dangerous words are taken in by such fragile ears
The meaning of them is understood negatively
I will lie and tell you what you want to here
If I am not accepted in my truth

Fallen out of the sunlight that I only saw with the white lines
I could never want to be here
Nothing good has shown me why I would
There's always a little space for a change
but I know it won't last forever

I will shut myself away. Live my life secretly
I'll never have my say. I'll keep it grinded between my teeth
I'll never see a day without a touch a misery
I've never seen the face, the face of sincerity

Chosen my own path to clear the way of you
It may kill me but never like you do
and if death is the worse thing I have to look forward to
then come on and make my day...
Track Name: Forgetting What Is Always Remembered
FORGETTING WHAT IS ALWAYS REMEMBERED

The moral conscience reeks of emptiness
Like another contact gets removed from the eye
I keep of slipping under the surface
There it's so dark, I can never go outside

As I withdrawal, I continue to fall
Back to the place I tried to leave
I can't recall a bigger fool
In the mirror next to me

I can't get back, I hate the view there
I don't need them
What good will it do, to return to you?
A life they say I'm throwing away
But I hated yesterday...

I was sober, I was clean
Except within my thoughts of desire
No one wishes me then me this was over
Am I a liar?

As I withdrawal, I feel so small
Back to the world that never wanted me
I can't be told what I already know
There is nowhere that is free
Track Name: Frowning, Sweetly
FROWNING, SWEETLY

Frowning, sweetly
I mean no harm to anyone
but it seems they intend to make my life miserable
Angry, calmly
I keep my resentments built up and aimed at myself
but still they wouldn't take the blame for anything

Whose making up the rules?
I never said things have got to be this way
Only said how I felt, what I thought I wanted
What does it matter if I can't believe?

Smiling, Falsely
I aim to try at pleasing everyone
but all I hear is how I'm not good enough
Changing, quickly
I adapt to all I can get my mind around
and attempt all I can't

You never meant
you never meant what you said anyway...

Time goes so quickly
I always find the bad parts in the minutes slowing down
but I'm expected to forget them in an instant
No realities, I long to feel the comfort of
Where no lies can intervene
but there's such place (repeat)
Track Name: Rehearsals
REHEARSALS

There's no body here, I know now
Just an empty vessel of humility
So how do I get away from here?
There's no reason good enough for this
I really cannot describe my feelings
Don't want to catch your coldness
but I'm already shivering

I know now
I'm alone
No one to relate to
No place to call my home
I know now
There's no one I know
and if I knew you
I wouldn't like you at all

It's too late to heal, so when will I die?
I know now the choice isn't mine to decide
Can't believe that this is all the years amount to
but I'm not surprised
Watch them practice all their lines
Knowing in time
They'll forget to remember them